Taking Care of Self

A couple of weeks ago I went to an all women’s silent at Breitenbush.  It was my birthday present to myself as my previous two birthdays reflected the trials I’ve been in and out of for the last few years.  It was time to take the reigns and give to myself.

How often do we remember to give to ourselves?  So many of us give to our families, friends, jobs, etc. without taking a moment for ourselves.  The energy goes out, yet we forget to replenish ourselves.

It is oftentimes hard to step away to do this, but essential not only for ourselves, but also for those we give the energy to.  I certainly have the perks of partaking in amazing Dragontree services and people, but this time I needed more.  I spent three days in noble silence, but all the noise that had built up in my head kept me in full company.  I spent at least a couple hours a day doing formal meditation.  I spent the rest of the time soaking in hot spring mineral pools, napping, and reading.  It wasn’t until the last morning, after three days of silence, where things started to become clear.

I spent my last hour before departure doing a walking meditation through their labyrinth.  I was the only one there when I was walking up to it and there were three deer eating small grasses in the middle of it, one doe and two fawns.  It felt good to be the only person there to witness it and I started my meditation while they were still in my path.

As I wound from the middle, to the edge, and back I was thinking about the phases we go through in our lives.  We might have the periods of time where we can focus on ourselves deeply and the periods where we can only focus on the more superficial layers.  It takes a long time to unlearn some lifelong habits, so when we are caught up in our lives it is easy to drift away from new habits we are trying to form and back to our old ways.  That’s okay though.  It’s part of the human experience.  We will drift from the outer layers to inner and back when we realize that we’ve drifted.

Learning will happen as we drift back and forth.  Our only requirement is that we pay attention to these movements.  Stay in bed all day for yourself if you are able, but make sure that you force yourself to get up when the time is right.  Indulge yourself on occasion, even if the indulgence is silence, a cookie, a hug or a slow walk.  Take a deep breathe and think of yourself today.

~Meredith Deloca, Assistant Spa Director, The Dragontree PDX